Starting Over

Well tommorow we start all over, at 1:30 we meet with a caseworker for the State Wide Adoption Network to discuss our options with adopting here in Pennsylvania.
This is so hard knowing that if that call almost 2 weeks ago would have been good news we would be getting ready to travel. My guess is that we would have left thursday arrived in Kaz saturday and met our daughter Monday. It's so hard that for 15 years we have been trying and trying and trying and we don't seem any closer now than we were back then. Back in August of 2006 we started with hope and excitement now we start all over with fear and apprehension.
The past two weeks have been so hard, we hope no one else ever has to go thru what we have. Thanks so much for all the thoughts, prayers and well wishes they mean so much to Sandy and I, they give us hope and inspiration.
Since the 17th we have talked with Kellie on friday she expressed her condolences and still can't understand the reasons as to why our dossier was rejected. We are both under 55 met ALL the the requirements for Kaz and there was no issues with our dossier until it reached the Head of the MOE in Kazakhstan. CHI found out just two hours before they called us.

Now I want to get one thing straight, lot of people have asked if we are upset with Childrens Hope and blame them for this happening NO NO NO NO NO!!!
Childrens Hope International has been wonderful to us this entire time.
The only thing they did that upset us was to remove us from the blogroll less than 24 hours after we got the call. Jeff Morris called us last week to tell us how sorry he was about everything and he explained that it is CHI's policy to remove people from the blogroll, E-mail etc... so that we wouldn't recieve updates and mailings or anything that could open old woundsand upset us. I explained to Jeff that so many people follow each others blogs that as soon as we were removed from the list of waiting families our E-mail was swamped with people thinking we got the call to travel, this only made things a thousand times worse for us. This was the one time I really needed the support of others. It was a really nice talk I had with Jeff and it was a learning experience for the both of us. I learned so much and Jeff learned from me a few things that CHI can do to help any other family that this might happen to.
I know I wouldn't want to have to make that call to a family and give them the bad news, I don't think there is any RIGHT way of making that call. CHI did their best to make it easy for us and have offered their full support and prayers.
We may never fully understand the reason why the head of the MOE rejected our dossier. It just hurts so much to go thru SO SO SO SO much only to have someone say NOPE. When we read on others blogs of all the children calling people Mama and Papa and reaching out to them and how it just breaks your heart so much that you just want to take them all home and then this happens to us. WHY WHY WHY???

It upsets me that something like this happens and I read about judges making people wait months for a court date after they have bonded with a child. Two weeks of bonding and 4 months of waiting half a world away for a court date while a child has to wonder where mama and papa are! I just can't understand.
To all the children of Kazakhstan and those all over the world waiting for a MaMa and PaPa we hope your dreams come true.

If we take one thing from Childrens Hope International it's HOPE
We Hope that all will go well tommorow and that our journey will one day have a happy ending. Maybe our journey will end just a little closer to home than we thought.

All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney

One week Later a new Beginning

I just wanted to do a quick post for everyone.
One week, it's been one week since we got call and news that would forever change our lives. So much has happened this past week and we still don't know were our journey will lead us.
Sandy and I want to thank everyone for all the prayers and support we have recieved over the past week. I'm sorry we haven't responded to each and every E-mail but we have read them ALL and feel truly blessed to have so much recieved so much support and advice.
We have talked with our homestudy caseworker and have gone over all the options as to "where do we go from here?" we will be meeting with a caseworker next Wed. and see if any Adoption programs here in Pennsylvania will work for us.
I have so much more I want to say and will try to post more over the weekend.
We know our daughter is out there somewhere maybe she's much closer than we know.

How long should you try? Until.
Jim Rohn

THE CALL the END??

THURSDAY APRIL 17th 2008 has now become the worst day of our lives.
I thought 3 miscarriages and the tubal pregnacy we went thru were hard but this this has had us up over 30 hours doing nothing but crying.
Thursday afternoon our phone rang just seconds after Sandy left the house.
I answered the phone and on the other end was Jeff Morris, Kellie and Ann from Childrens Hope!!!
Jeff asked if Sandy was home and that they had an update on our Dossier.
My heart was racing I thought "THIS IS IT THIS IS THE CALL WE ARE FINAlLY GOING TO TRAVEL AND MEET OUR DAUGHTER" well it was the "CALL" but not the call we wanted.
Jeff told me they had just recieved a call from the repersentive in Kazakhstan and that the M.O.E. had REJECTED our dossier. I was Stunned and brought to tears!! Jeff said:
The MOE didn't understand our age difference and wondered why would someone over 50 want to adopt. Jeff stated it was a cultural difference and that the average life expectancy in Russia is only 58. There was nothing wrong with our dossier it was all about AGE. Kazakhstan is now not accepting anyone over 50 years old and that this is retro active and will effect everyone. It didn't matter the age limit was 55 when we submitted our dossier Kazakhstan rejected it, no-one over 50 and used our Dossier as a sample.
I cried and couldn't even talk, I called Sandy and couldn't even get the words out.
Childrens Hope is as stunned as we are, this is the 1st time this has ever happened to anyone.
We talked with Kellie friday morning and she felt so bad for us. This was a 1st WHY US WHY NOW, WHY after everything Sandy and I have been thru all the heartbreak and pain now only more.

I don't know how we're going to be able to tell everyone, it was so hard telling our families last night. how will I going thru a day when for the past year all we hear is "ANY WORD YET" How's the Adoption?" When are you Traveling??
We are blessed to have had so many wonderful people help us along the way and I know they will all be crushed to hear the bad news.
I can't sleep, I can't open the door to the baby room we worked so hard on. All we have to see is just one little thing we did or bought and we break down. We even tried to get out and just seeing a family with a child is to much to handle.
August 6, 2006 we 1st started think about Adoption. EVERYTHING EVERYTHING ELSE HAD FAILED this was it for us. After being turned down twice we found CHI. I worked night and day, hours, days, months almost two years working on all the paperwork involved and when it wasn't paperwork I was busy working on my house getting it ready for a little girl we wanted to name Arianna Marie Kelley.
We had so much fun shopping for clothes, paint and carpeting and the Teddy Bear boarder for her room. We bought a laptop, convertor, new clothes, the loney planet travel guide and learned some Russian.
I've sold 50-50's at work, collected coke rewards bottle caps for delta sky miles (We even dug thru the trash cans at the Cherry Fest for caps with mom) and walked an entire baseball stadium for caps. I'll never forget seeing my best friend Nick and his family coming up to me with pockets full of bottle caps the collected at the game. My co-workers even made signs and have a little container at work to put caps in for us. I don't know how we'll handle work monday. This is the 1st day I've had off all year I've been working so long and so hard giving up everything for this!! so many wasted hours, days, years.
All this work just for someone to say nope. I wonder did they even think about what people go through and how about the child wishing to have a mother and father?

ALL our hopes all our dreams all I want to be is to be a Father. Every minute for the past Two Years wasted.

We really don't know what we will do now, We have been up over 30 hours crying in total disbelief why us why now ?!?!?
Why didn't Kazakhstan reject our dossier a year ago at the embassy??
Why go thru EVERY SINGLE STEP ALONG THE WAY and there was no problem until NOW, now when we should be traveling to KAZ !!!

For now we don't know what to do 3 miscarriages, a tubal pregnancy and now this. Do we really want to start all over? can we handle more HeartBreak and Pain?
We put everything we had into this adoption and are now deep in debt with nothing to show for it except a pile of useless paperwork and lots of bills.

All we do know is it won't be Kazakhstan and if you are 50 or over talk with your agency NOW!!! WE don't want ANYONE ELSE TO EVER HAVE TO GO THRU THE PAIN WE ARE.
We may look into other options but we have put EVERYTHING into this Adoption and are back to square one, do we have the heart the will and the money start all over?

We hope the best for everyone and that no one else will have to go thru this.
One more heartbroken family and 1 more child without a mama and papa.

To the little girl who would have become our daughter: Arianna Marie I'm so sorry we tried, I can only pray someone will find you and love you as much as we would have.

LETS GET THE KELLEY'S TO KAZ!!

OK SO WE AND EVERYONE ELSE WE KNOW ARE READY FOR US TO GET THE CALL. I WAS REALLY HOPING TO TRAVEL BY NOW SO WE CAN BE HOME WITH OUR DAUGHTER TO ENJOY ALL SUMMER HAS TO OFFER CHERRY FEST, FAMILY REUNIONS, LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH, GOING TO OUR CAMP AND EATING SMORES (OH IS OUR LITTLE GIRL IN FOR A TREAT DADDY LOVES MAKING SMORES). IF WE HAD OUR DAUGHTER TODAY SHE COULD HAVE ENJOYED THE BEAUTIFUL SPRING DAY AND THIS HUGE PLAYGROUND (PICTURED ABOVE) THAT IS JUST ABOUT IN OUR BACKYARD. WE WALKED THE DOGS ON THE BAYFRONT TODAY, WATCHED THE TROUT FISHERMEN, FEED THE DUCKS AND WATCHED THE CHILDREN RUN ALL OVER THE PLAYGROUND I CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE MY LITTLE GIRL AND WATCH HER RUN AND JUMP AND PLAY. WE FINISHED OFF THE DAY AT DAIRY QUEEN THEY HAVE SOME OF THE BEST ICECREAM IN THE STATE!!! BUTTERFINGER BLIZZARD YUM YUM
ON THE ADOPTION FRONT:
OUR HOMESTUDY CASE WORKER CALLED FRIDAY THE PAPERWORK WE NEED TO COMPLETE WILL BE IN THE MAIL MONDAY. WE NEED OUR MEDICALS UPDATED THE REST SHOULD BE MAKING COPIES OF THINGS SO I HOPE TO HAVE EVERYTHING DONE FAIRLY QUICKLY.
NOT MUCH ELSE GOING ON I THINK TONITE I'LL SORT OUT A BOX OF CORN FLAKES AND SOME CHEETOOS TO SEE IF ANY RESEMBLE A STATE OR LOOK REMOTELY LIKE ANYTHING I CAN SELL ON E-BAY. $1350 FOR A CORN FLAKE IF I CAN FIND 3-4 OF THESE BABIES IT WOULD PAY FOR OUR AIRFARE TO KAZ
Virginia sisters sell Illinois-shaped corn flake for $1,350 on eBay
Associated PressPublished: 3/22/2008 8:11 AMSend To:


Two sisters from Virginia sold their Illinois-shaped corn flake on eBay Friday night for $1,350.

"We were biting our nails all the way up to the finish, seeing what would happen," said Melissa McIntire, 23. "There's a lot of relief involved."

The winner of the auction, which lasted more than a week, is the owner of a trivia Web site who wants to add the corn flake to a traveling museum.

"We're starting a collection of pop culture and Americana items," said Monty Kerr of Austin, Texas. "We thought this was a fantastic one."

Kerr owns TriviaMania.com and said he will likely send someone to Virginia to pick up the flake by hand, so it won't be damaged. This isn't the first corn flake that Kerr has tried to buy. He said he purchased a flake billed as the world's largest, but that by the time it was delivered it had crumbled into three pieces.

McIntire and her sister Emily, 15, listed the corn flake on eBay last week, but eBay canceled the auction saying it violated the Web site's food policy.

The sisters restarted their Ebay auction, advertising a coupon redeemable for their corn flake, instead of the cereal itself.

The McIntires said they'll likely use the money for a family vacation.

Copycat items have popped up on eBay, including corn flakes shaped like Hawaii and Virginia. There's also been a potato chip shaped like Florida, and Illinois corn flake paraphernalia, including T-shirts and buttons.

DEJA VU ?!!??!

Well it sure feels like we've done this before and that is fill out I-600A paperwork. The hardest part will be making all the copies of everything and having our homestudy updated. JUST A NOTE TO FAMILIES STARTING THE PROCESS MAKE COPIES AND SAVE EVERYTHING with the wait now being over two years you will be updating paperwork!
I called Adoption by Choice today and left a message for our caseworker, I think it will all come down to how quickly she can have the update done so we can mail everything out and have our fingerprints redone. (like they're going to really change from a year ago). Oh well it gives us a good excuse to go to Niagra Falls and hit the casino in Buffalo. Our caseworker is so good I don't expect there will be any problems. We are so lucky to have her.
Not much else to report just putting a picture album together and putting some pics on our laptop. We will start sleeping with a stuffed animal we plan on taking with us. This is a tip we have heard from so many families, our child will still be able to smell our scent even after we have to return home after the 1st trip and will help with the bonding process. I will also buy a 2nd voltage converter after reading that Suzanne's blew up their 1st day in Kaz. I hope they can find a new one in Kaz.
One day closer to our daughter.


Irish Proverb
Slow is every foot on an unknown path.

Still waiting

Well we are still waiting, it now sounds like our agency will not have any refferals for girls until late spring or early summer. The real bummer is it feels like we are starting all over again, some of our paperwork is soon to expire and we need to file for an extension for our 171H. Here's the link to the website were you can download your I-600A application and instructions : http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis
just click on immigration forms and scroll down to the form you want.
I'll be calling our homestudy case worker about renewing our paperwork, we're still the same old Brian and Sandy so no changes should be needed.
We hope to get everthing done soon and can go back to just waiting to travel.
Speaking of travel Congrats to our friend Suzanne whom is currently in Kaz and has just decided to accept a referal to Adopt a Brother and Sister. She and her husband have been trying to Adopt for years and has had many pitfalls along the way, it's just so wonderful to finally read on her blog that she has found her children or should I say Son and Daughter.
Our time is coming it will be nice to finally be able to tell people yes we are traveling......for now it's still any day now.

The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
Mark Twain

Travel tips I found today

No new news about when we might travel :-( the only thing we've heard lately is that our 171H paperwork will expire in a few months and we have to start working on getting it renewed. Thankfully we do get 1 free renewal but having our homestudy updated might cost us. We are really hoping to travel this month as it's now been over a year and were told the wait should be 10-12 months. I really want to travel in the spring and be home to enjoy the Summertime with our daughter. I always bug Sandy about the Cherry Fest in July, usually I start on new years day by saying "the Cherry Fest is only 7 months away!!" the Cherry Fest is in NorthEast and runs all week, They have the largest firemens parade in the state and tons of great food plus I can't wait to show off our new daughter. This is the one time during the year I get to see people I graduated with.
Well not much else to say but here's some great travel tips I found today:


Traveling overseas exposes you to exotic environments, diverse climates and unique food — as well as health hazards. Here’s how to prevent them from ruining your trip.
By Doug Newcomb

Millions of people vacation outside the U.S. every year and return home with nothing more than jet lag, but traveling abroad involves unique health concerns. So while you’re planning your international itinerary, put equal effort into making sure you have a healthy trip. This requires a bit of research and may add a few extra dollars to your travel budget, but preparing for the worst will help ensure the best trip possible.

Before you go

With all of the resources available online, finding out what the weather will be like in Angkor Wat, checking the current political climate in Chile or locating the best hospitals in Helsinki is just a few mouse clicks away. Your first stop should be the Web site for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (http://www.cdc.gov/travel), which provides detailed travel-health information on every country from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe. It also contains entire sections devoted to vaccinations, diseases related to travel, food and water safety, illness and injury, travel clinics and more.

Then, check the State Department’s Web site (http://www.travel.state.gov) for a list of travel warnings and alerts. While countries such as Iraq and Afghanistan are understandably under travel warnings, destinations such as Mexico and China, which many travelers consider relatively safe, have also recently appeared on the travel alerts list. The State Department also suggests that you familiarize yourself with conditions at your destination that may affect your health — the climate, altitude, pollution and air quality — and that you investigate available medical facilities, accessibility to prescription medications you may need and the immunizations required.

The best way to stay healthy on a trip abroad is to make sure you’re feeling shipshape before you leave the U.S. You’ll obviously need to be fit before embarking on an international ski trip or a strenuous eco-adventure. But even if your idea of an ideal vacation is lolling on a tropical beach or strolling through European museums, the effects of long-distance air travel, unfamiliar foods and schlepping bulky bags can be hard on the hardiest of bodies. Consider scheduling an exam at a travel clinic before you depart so that a doctor can give you health advice tailored to you and your trip. For a detailed list of travel clinics, check out the International Society of Travel Medicine’s Web site (http://www.istm.org).

No matter how much you prepare, things can still go wrong while you’re out of the country, and you don’t want to be scrambling to find decent health care — or figuring out how you’ll pay for it. Check with your health insurance provider to see what your policy covers when you’re outside the U.S., and if medical evacuation, which can run upwards of $50,000, is included. If you aren’t adequately covered, you’ll have to decide if it’s worth buying traveler’s insurance (not to be confused with trip insurance, which reimburses you if something goes wrong with your reservations or travel plans). These short-term policies cover you while you are out of the country, and typically cost less than $100 per individual for a trip of up to 20 days.

Many online travel agencies offer this type of insurance, and it’s also available through independent companies such as travelersmed.com and AIG Travel Guard. You can also check with outfits such as MedjetAssist and Global Rescue, which specialize in medical evacuations. Or, consider Medex, which offers a complete suite of international travel services, such as its 360 Global Medical Monitor, which adds country-specific information on diseases and health risks, immunization requirements and recommendations for local hospitals to a travel insurance policy.

While you’re there

Once you’re at your destination, the best way to stay healthy is by being cautious about what you eat and drink. For example, while one of the pleasures of foreign travel is sampling local cuisine, the CDC advises:

• Avoiding raw foods, including salads and uncooked vegetables
• Eating only fruit that you’ve peeled yourself
• Avoiding unpasteurized milk and dairy products
• Eating only foods that have been freshly cooked and are still hot
• Exercising caution when eating food prepared by street vendors

Even greenhorn globetrotters know not to drink the water in many places. Instead, you should quaff only canned or bottled beverages and imbibe coffee and tea made only with boiling water. The CDC also recommends avoiding ice cubes in areas with questionable water quality. If the tap is the only source for quenching your thirst, the CDC advises rapidly boiling water for at least one minute.

Water can pose a health risk even if you don’t drink it. Infections of the eyes, ears, skin and respiratory, neurological and digestive systems can be contracted by swimming in contaminated water.

Other health concerns

Since many illnesses spread through germs, an important liquid to pack is hand sanitizer. A small first-aid kit stocked with bandages, pain relievers, antiseptic, anti-diarrheal tablets and other emergency essentials can also be a vacation saver.

To protect against malaria, dengue fever and other mosquito-borne illnesses, use a repellent containing DEET on exposed skin and apply it on top of sunscreen when necessary. Wearing a long-sleeve shirt and long pants also keeps the bloodsuckers at bay. And remember that, like vampires, mosquitoes are most active from dusk to dawn. So stay inside screened-in quarters after sundown and sleep under insecticide-treated bed netting for an extra layer of protection.

According to the State Department, road traffic-related injuries are the leading cause of death among U.S. citizens traveling abroad because of such factors as substandard roads and lack of safety equipment in vehicles. Therefore, it recommends:

• Renting newer vehicles with safety belts and airbags and bringing your own child seats from home
• Riding only in taxis with safety belts, sitting in the rear seat and offering drivers an extra gratuity for driving safely
• Avoiding overcrowded or top-heavy buses
• Hiring a driver familiar with the area and local traffic
• Wearing helmets when riding motorcycles and bicycles and bringing your own helmet if you know you’ll engage in these activities.

If something goes wrong

If and when something does go wrong in another country, you’ll want to have an escape plan. Start by registering with the State Department before going abroad so that you can be contacted in case a crisis develops in the area where you’re traveling. This will also automatically register you with the embassy in the country you’re visiting; it’s also helpful to have the phone number and address of the nearest embassy or consulate handy.

Many travel insurance policies cover emergency medical evacuation. But if something happens that requires such a drastic measure, you’ll want to know how to get in touch with the medevac service pronto. Most insurers provide a wallet card with international toll-free numbers, and Medex offers international mobile phones and satellite phones that are pre-programmed with a one-touch “lifeline” to its emergency response center. With any luck, you’ll never need it.